What is a monkeybox?

When I was a little girl, we had a pet monkey named Amanda. My Dad worked in the produce business, so each night he brought home that days culls in a big box - spotty cucumbers, pithy apples, limp celery, moldy oranges and the like. We called it a monkeybox. It was really just trash, but my Mom would take each piece of fruit and trim it, pare it and cut it up to make a beautiful fruit platter for Amanda. Even though it was deemed trash by one, it still had life left in it and was good for the purpose we needed it. That's how I live my life - thrifting, yard saling, looking for another's trash to be my treasure.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010


Once a week, for about four years, I have gotten automated phone calls from Humana Insurance asking for "Roy Yadda Yadda".  It's all automated, so I can't say, "There is no Roy Yadda Yadda here!"  I've actually called the number they leave a few times and told them, "Dude, you have totally got the wrong number!"  The calls stop for about a month, and then they start up again.  About two years ago, I saw the Humana number on the phone and waited for the computer to ask for "Roy Yadda Yadda.  But, nooooooooooo, they wanted "VERA Yadda Yadda".  Are you freaking kidding me?  So, now they call once a week for Roy and once a week for Vera.  Like clockwork.

It doesn't really bother me that much.  I mean, it is annoying.  But, I suspect they might actually need to talk to Roy and Vera one of these days about something really important.  The last time I called to tell them it was the wrong number was in January.  I haven't had any calls since. So maybe, just maybe, they actually got it fixed.

Last night the phone rang during Idol.  Guess who it is on the Caller ID?  No, not Humana.  That would be too easy!  The Caller ID said, "Roy Yadda Yadda".  I thought it was some sort of joke!  I just stared at the receiver thinking, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"  (You know that old phone prank where you call and ask for Bob over and over and then you call back and say, "Hi!  This is Bob!  Have I had any calls?"  Well, that is exactly what I thought was happening.)

When I answered,  a lady asked if Jack or Betty were there.  I said, "Uhm.  No.  Uhm. You have the uhm, wrong uhm, number."  She apologized and was about to hang up when I said, "I get a lot of phone calls for you though."  She said, "For me?"  I said "Is this Vera Yadda Yadda?"  "Yesssssssssssss, Who is this?" she asked.  I went on to explain the whole situation to her and she laughed and laughed and laughed.  Hard.  It absolutely cracked her up.  In all these years, I just assumed the number was completely off track.  I never thought it might be a local number, it really just never occurred to me.  Turns out they live about a half a mile from me. 

It all struck me very odd, like I was being Punk'd or something. 


Are you out there?


  1. Haha! It kills me when I answer the phone "Casablanca Hotel & Resort, front desk speaking how may I direct your call." how many of my friends will hang up then call back (because they realize it is actually me) haha!

  2. That is really funny. I kept getting emails for someone else and it was some torrid love affair stuff. They have stopped now..sad I wonder if they ever got together.

  3. 'Shara Operator!'
    Are you going to start charging Vera for screening her calls for her?!!

  4. On my phone message, I start out with "If you are a telephone solicitor, hang up NOW--we will not speak with you if we can't see your number". I won't pick up the phone if I see "blocked call" or no phone number, but my husband does and says, "Joe's Mule Barn--head ass speaking"--works like a charm, too. I live in Mississippi and get more calls than I can count from people looking for Shaneequa or Laqwaysha and I'm thinking, "Do these people not LISTEN when I clearly say, in my very white no-accent honky voice, HELLO?"

  5. We used to get calls for someone who had the same first name as my husband. This lady would call and call, and we finally figured out that it was the wife looking for the husband who was not where he was supposed to be. One time she had her father call and that gentlemen at least believed us. Then we started getting calls from a nursing home or hospital, asking when he was going to come get/visit his grandmother. The calls stopped after a while, but it got really annoying when he didn't pay his bills but was still giving our our number! It was several years after the number had become ours, so we never figured out if it had been his years before or if he'd just made it up to give out. Your caller situation was funny, the lady calling you!

  6. Too funny! I get calls a lot for a man names Wayne (my number is listed as W. B=== is the book, no address) about his cows getting out.


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