What is a monkeybox?

When I was a little girl, we had a pet monkey named Amanda. My Dad worked in the produce business, so each night he brought home that days culls in a big box - spotty cucumbers, pithy apples, limp celery, moldy oranges and the like. We called it a monkeybox. It was really just trash, but my Mom would take each piece of fruit and trim it, pare it and cut it up to make a beautiful fruit platter for Amanda. Even though it was deemed trash by one, it still had life left in it and was good for the purpose we needed it. That's how I live my life - thrifting, yard saling, looking for another's trash to be my treasure.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Sorrid Past

Today as I perusing the aisle's of Goodwill procrastinating about going out in the 100 degree heat to the 200 degree car.  I hadn't really found anything worth buying and I had a case of "empty hand syndrome" so I kept on looking.  That's when I spotted a cart of fresh new merchandise that a clerk rolled out on the floor and I pounced.  I spotted something that I needed, but I didn't KNOW I needed.  


A Boone's Farm Apple Wine glass.  As soon as I saw it I had a flood of memories to the the first time (and only time, for the record) I got drunk on Apple Wine.  I was hanging out with a bunch of guys on motorcycles and they were all drinking Boone's Farm Apple Wine.  I had never had it before, so I decided to try it.  I drank so much that I got wasted! F-A-S-T!

Wait - did I mention I was four years old at the time?

Oh, that might be important information!


When I was was a kid, still living in Kansas, my Mom's three brothers had a bunch of friends that had motorcycles.  They would come over to our house and hang out most of the afternoon. Everyone would sit on their motorcycles in the front yard and talk and listen to music and just visit and hang out.  Because they were young (but over 18 and legal to drink), money was tight and cheap wine fit the bill.  They all had bottles of Boone's Apple Wine in paper bags that they were sipping out of throughout the day.  

I was about four years old and my Uncle's loved me.  Their friends thought I was cute and they liked me too.  AS THEY SHOULD.  :)  They liked me sooooooo much that when I walked up and batted my eyes and asked for a "sip" of their wine, they looked over their shoulder so no one would see  - and then gave me the teeneiest sip of Apple Wine.  No harm.  No foul.  


It tasted like juice!  YUM!


I went around the ring of motorcycles, one by one, person by person and got the teeniest sip of Boone's Apple Wine from each one of them.  



After awhile I needed to go in the house to go to the bathroom.

I found my Mama and told her that I needed to go to the potty.  She took me in and stood with me while I went to the bathroom.  I was laughing.  A bit too much and for no reason. And I was trying to tell her something but I sounded all slurry.  Then I said, "I feel funny, Mama!" and BOOM I fell off the toilet!  And kept on laughing.


Then guess what?

I barfed up my guts.  My Mom said she had never smelled anything like that in her LIFE.  Probably because I had a stomach full of whatever a four year old eats along with a bellyful of Apple Wine. (I probably only had 1/2 cup total, but that's WAY TOO much for a four year old. 

A new rule was implemented - "No booze for the kid".  But, I never asked for it again.  And honestly, I really haven't ever drank much since then.  

The glass will hold some flowers in the windowsill.  

That story still makes me chuckle after all these years!  


  1. made me chuckle too.

  2. We have so much in common - I'm a lightweight too! (But only when it comes to alcohol - I won't mention my true body weight.)

  3. OMG - that is hysterical!!

  4. That is too funny! Maybe Boones Farm has stayed in business all these years because it seems to have been the first experience with cheap wine that a lot of people had. You only need to do it once (says the girl who had that experience with Boones Farm Strawberry - except I was old enough to know better :) )

  5. ahhh...as we say in the South "bless your heart"

  6. Do you mean your "sordid" past, or is this an inside joke?

    1. That would be an autocorrect I didn't catch.

  7. Shara this cracked me up. I was not 4, I was 15 so supposedly old enough to know better. NOT! I drank a whole bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry wine at a sleepover. My mother didn't punish me since Mother Nature gave me a solid lesson. I don't like wine to this day!!

    1. I bet you know better now!!!!!!

  8. "No booze for the kid". You ruined it for the rest of us :)

  9. Oh the stories you tell!! Funny!!

  10. What a little wild child you were!

  11. How funny! I think many of us met Boone's Farm as our first drink. It was so sweet and terrible, yet so affordable. :)

  12. Hahaha! What a story... Bet your mama wasn't happy with the guys.


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