An Open Letter to My Husband

This is my 400th post. And, in honor of my 400th post, I would like to discuss the 400 things that are irritating me about the old DH today.

Okay, I don't have time or space to dedicate to all 400 issues. But, believe me, there are 400.

At least.

Seriously.

1. When you (rather IF YOU) put the sandwich stuff up after you eat, wash off the counter top too.

2. Flush the toliet at all times. Even if you just blew your nose into that paper - FLUSH IT. I do not want to see it.

3. Wash your "whatever it is" out of the sink. I don't leave toothpaste, hair or anything else in the sink when I am done using it.

4. Please remove all hairs from the soap in the shower. Yes, it may be from your head/chest/otherparts, but I don't want hair on the soap. Notice, you will never find mine on there.

5. When you watch sports in the other room, please make noise consistantly rather than being a mute for thirty minutes and then yelling "SHIT!" at the top of your lungs so loud that me, The Bean and all three cats nearly do the above mentioned word in our drawers. Remind us that you are home.

6. I know it's cold out. You still have to take the trash out. It will still be cold in the mornisng whe I have to do it.

7. Leave the chicken alone when it's cooking on the grill. It is not necessary to poke it/turn it overandoverandover/spray water on it (never have understood that one)/look at it while it cooks.



8. Close the doors all the way. Even when I try, I cannot leave a cabinet door standing half open/half closed. I don't think it's even possible to so that - oh, but you can. Same with the drawers. Close them all the way. Not sticking out three inches. ALL THE DAMN WAY.

9. That is very nice that you filled your gas tank and washed your truck. What about mine? Just once???? Please?

10. I do not want to see you clip your toenails, hear you clip your toenails or even know that you are clipping your toenails. You have never seen me do that. Ever. And you never will.

11. Please do not wait until bedtime to tell me what happened to you at work that day. You have had four hours to tell me that. Why now? I am tired. Do not talk to me now.

12. I do thank you for putting a fresh roll of TP on the holder, as I know many men do not do that. However, could you please put it IN the trash rather than leaving it on the counter with three squares on it fo me to use? I am not Sheryl Crow, I require more than three squares.

13. Plese do not sing the words to songs that you do not know or have never ever heard? Just because you heard the words and are repeating the words a word or two late, does not mean you know the song. No, not at all. You like country, so do not try to sing "Fergilious" with me.

14. I will try not to get too graphic here, but I do not care to go on a scavenger hunt for your underwear down your pant legs on laundry day. However, I also do not like to find them right on top like a gift from the skivvie fairy. make them easy to find, but not too easy.

Okay, that is enough. Just had to get a few things off my chest. Ahhhhh. Serenity now!

On the bright side, I did comment today that I "should be shot for buying" three very frivilous things at the thrift today. He replied? Why? They made you happy. So, I gues he's not all bad. I do wish he would clean up the brown ring under his cup after the Coke foams up. O=Uh-Oh. That's #15.

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There were really bad tornadoes here in Arkansas last night as well as in Texas, Tennessee, Alabama and other Southern States. Lots of death and devastation. This would be an excellent time to make a donation to the Red Cross if you are so inclined. They really need all the help and prayers they can get right now.