Friday morning my Dad called and told me that his eyes were practically swollen shut. I found that to be odd enough, then he added, "And my ding-a-ling is swollen too." That could quite possibly rate as the top rated TOO MUCH INFORMATION statement in my entire life! He said he called the Doctor, but they absolutely couldn't see him until Monday or Tuesday. So, he thought he would go to the Emergency Room if it got worse. Instead, he went to the casino. (!)
That night he called and said his cheeks were starting to swell up too and they were beet red. He told me he started a new high blood pressure medication on Monday. I assummed, and he did too, that it was NOT working and his blood presure was rapidly increasing. I could barely sleep that night, just knowing that he would most likely internally combust from High Blood Pressure that night. He called the next morning to say he was going to the ER. Thank goodness.
The Bean and I got ready and met him there. It's about an hour from our house to the hospital. When we got there, I really didn't know what to expect. Swollen eyes. Swollen cheeks. Beet red cheeks. And that other ailment that we won't mention again. Ahem.
When I saw him, I could immediately tell that he was having an allergic reaction to something, so I started quizzing him. And, once again, I, Dr. Shara, solved the great medical mystery. He had poison ivy. In December. He had been in the yard picking up sticks and walking around in the woods behind his house. It was windy and his hair kept blowing in his eyes so he swept it out of his eyes with his hands, thus getting the poison ivy in his eyes. As for the other matter, seems it is a long walk into the bathrom when you are picking up sticks in the woods, so you just "go" where you are. Thus the spreading of the poison ivy to his nether regions. My Dad is a ding a ling.
Oh my gosh, I love those houses to the point they are making me depressed I don't have one! May I share the 'pepper story' with you? A couple years ago we bought an unknown pepper plant at the market and planted it in the garden. When it came time to pick the peppers they were teeny tiny and hot looking. So the husband, afraid to eat a whole one, cut it up into pieces on the cutting board. He tasted a piece and it was fiery, core-of-the-earth-hot. I TOLD him, be sure to wash your hands before touching your face. Ahem. So a few minutes later I hear screaming from the bathroom. Ah. Seems he had to pee, so he figured he'd be washing his hands after that any way. You can guess the rest Men!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear your dad's problem wasn't serious. I have some drug allergies and always keep Benedryl in the house just in case.
Oh Shara, you missed your calling as a comedy writer. :) Well, either that or as a doctor like House who can diagnose mystery ailments. LOL
ReplyDeleteOuch! Poison Ivy is EVIL! I get it way too often. Apparently I've lucked out though since I've never had it in THAT region!
ReplyDeleteYou are toooo funny!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up girl!
And I am in love with that last house!