What is a monkeybox?

When I was a little girl, we had a pet monkey named Amanda. My Dad worked in the produce business, so each night he brought home that days culls in a big box - spotty cucumbers, pithy apples, limp celery, moldy oranges and the like. We called it a monkeybox. It was really just trash, but my Mom would take each piece of fruit and trim it, pare it and cut it up to make a beautiful fruit platter for Amanda. Even though it was deemed trash by one, it still had life left in it and was good for the purpose we needed it. That's how I live my life - thrifting, yard saling, looking for another's trash to be my treasure.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sunday August 29, 2010

My Grandmother died today.  The past few months have been terrible for her and for us.  She was in a lot of pain.  She was irritable, mean and didn't always treat our family very nice.  But, she was our Mother/Grandma/Great Great Grandma, so we did what we knew was the right thing to do.  We cared for her and loved her in our own way.  We were able to find five caregivers that honestly loved her.  Within fifteen minutes of her passing this morning, they were all at her house to tell her goodbye.  We were fortunate to have had them come into our lives.  We were able to keep her in her own home which was her most fervent wish.  She begged us to stay in her own home, and with a lot of work by my Mom - she figured it out and she stayed in her house until the absolute end.  He body was old, worn out and in constant pain, she needed out of that body to be a free woman again.  I'm not that much of a religious person, but I have strong beliefs about spirits and souls and my idea of heaven.  I'm not sure she's in the heaven with butterflies and kittens, but I don't think she's in purgatory either.  Somewhere in between where it's not all cotton candy and rainbows, but not brimstone and fire either.  Somewhere where she's pain free with the TV blasting HBO movies where they say the "F" word and have a lot of sex and they serve fried chicken every night.   She was not your typical 84 year old Grandmother......

One of our biggest obstacles was trying to figure out what to do with her dog, Peach.  We love Peach.  She is the sweetest dog and has taken care of my Grandmother for many years.  My Mom has dogs, I have cats, Peach isn't used to any other animals.  She's older.  She's quiet.  It was a problem we knew we would have to face, but didn't know what to do.  The answer was sent to us today.  Within a few minutes of her passing, one of her caregivers almost begged us to let her take Peach.  She has an older farmhouse, she lives alone, her dog died two months ago, she is lonely, she loves Peach.  It's perfect.  We are so pleased.  We love Peach and will miss her - but we plan on seeing her and helping her new Mom take care of her. 

This has been a very long day and there is a lot more to do tomorrow.  And the next and the next.

I wanted to tell you all because you have listened to me in the past.  My Mom asked me if I needed to call anyone to tell them.  I told her all my best friends are in the computer and I've never even met them.  But, I know they will want to know.

Thank you.

37 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about that Shara. Your grandma sounds like a real character.
    xo
    Shannon

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  2. Sorry to hear of her passing Shara. Your mom is somewhere with all the other ornery dirty old ladies, haveing a hi-ball, cigarette dangling from her lower lip (oops, that may be my mom, not your grandma), eating the food she wants, cussing up a storm and enjoying herself. Hugs to you.

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  3. Sincere condolences Shara. I know you will carry a little of your Grandmother with you. I'm pleased that her little companion Peach has found a loving home - I'm sure she will bring comfort in other ways to her new Mom. Thinking of you and you family from 'across the pond'.

    Rose H

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  4. My condolences to you and your family ,Shara. And know your Grandmmother had a rough go of it lately. I know she is in a better place. So happy peach found a new home.
    My MIL had a Yorkie named Bam Bam. When she (MIL) went into assisted living we worried more about Bam Bam. Bam Bam is in a great home. And my MIL is happy too.
    Take care of yourself.
    Debra

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  5. My condolences to you and your family ,Shara. And know your Grandmmother had a rough go of it lately. I know she is in a better place. So happy peach found a new home.
    My MIL had a Yorkie named Bam Bam. When she (MIL) went into assisted living we worried more about Bam Bam. Bam Bam is in a great home. And my MIL is happy too.
    Take care of yourself.
    Debra

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  6. Oh Shara, I am so sorry for your loss! I know it was hard for you these last few months. Let us know if you need anything!

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  7. Anonymous8:55 AM

    So sorry to hear this Shara. You all were so good to her. I am happy Peach has found a good home. I hope you and your Mom have peace knowing you did all you could for her. Hugs to you!
    Amy James

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  8. Sending condolences to you and your family. You wrote that you and your mom worked very hard to help your grandma in her last months. Send her my best too.

    It's so nice that your grandma's dog found a good home too. Post a picture of Peach when you get a chance.

    Big hugs, Shara.

    LynnW

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  9. Shara, Wanted to let you know that I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother, regardless of the circumstances. You and your family should be proud that you did the right thing even though it wasn't the easiest thing for you and your family. You are a GREAT Mom, wife, daughter and granddaughter.
    Yvonne
    an Indiana Librarian

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  10. I'm so sorry about your loss.

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  11. Very sorry to hear this.

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  12. ...and there are times when you don't want to say a word, 'cause there are no right words to make anything better, or that they haven't heard before... - you just want to look someone in the eyes and give them a GREAT BIG HUG - and this is Definitely one of them...

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  13. Janet K.12:25 PM

    You are right Shara, there is something about this "blogland" tht mekes us realize how many common experiences we share even though we haven't met. You all did a wonderful thing to find a way to let your grandmother have her final days in her own home. I agree she is in a better place and now your own Mom will hopefully find some peace too. I know that is important to you. Take care. HTH Janet

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  14. Shara,
    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I have found that the easiest way to deal with the loss of a loved one is to remember that they are asleep and no longer in any pain. I am sure your grandmother was a lovely person before she got so sick. Pain can do horrible things to a person mentally.
    Debbie

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma, Shara.
    But I'm glad that Peach has found a home.
    Hang in there.

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  16. Sorry to hear about your grandma-hugs!!

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  17. Shara, I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I know that it's been a rough several months for you, but you and your mother did the right thing for/by her. Family is the most important thing we have, even if we don't always get along or agree. When it was hard, you and your mom stepped up and did what was important and the right thing to do. I'm glad that Peach found a good home as well.

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  18. Shara,I am so sorry for you and your mom. No matter the circumstances it is always hard because it is final. and now that she is free of her earthly pain and worries, you and your mom are left to go through things, always a heart breaker. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
    hugs
    cathy

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  19. Shara I am so sorry for the loss of you Grandmother. I know you and your Mom have had a hard struggle to take care of her and keep her in her home. I am so glad you were able to do that. I am sending you warm hugs and you and your family are in my thoughts.

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  20. Shara, So so sorry to hear about your familys loss. Hopefully the next place is a happy place with lots of joy and no more pain.

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  21. You and I have had many convos about g-ma and her issues and dysfunctions. It doesn't make the loss any easier, but she will now be in peace and you and mom can take a well deserved rest.

    You can call me anytime, that is what friends are for, even IF we have never met in person.

    Take care

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  22. Anonymous7:42 PM

    Sending you and your family peace. My best, Jessica

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  23. My deepest sympathies. She got to die at home, it's the best.

    I'm sure she's at peace and pain free now. I agree that heaven must be filled with HBO, swear words and fried food!

    Be well

    V x

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  24. Shara,
    sorry to hear the news about your grandmother, but I know it has been a rough haul for you and your mom. What a blessing to find a spot for Peaches...twas meant to be. big hug!

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  25. Just thinkin' aboutcha, and knowing how much your grandmother really did love all of you. You cared, and she knew :) xoxoxoxoxo

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  26. Theresa7:25 AM

    Shara - Sorry about your grandmother's passing but this is the end of a hard journey for her and your family. I'm with you, she is in a better place for her with no pain. Wishing you peace and grace and strength to pass through the days ahead and that all your family will be able to heal and move forward from this hard time. All the best - Theresa in St. Louis

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  27. Anonymous11:30 AM

    Dear Shara~

    Thank you for sharing your strength with us. It may not always be easy, but through your blog, I think we've all learned a lesson today; when we go to that great HBO in the sky, all our faults disappear, with memories left in their place.

    In Sympathy~ Aimee Suzanne

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  28. Thank you for telling us. We are your friends, for sure! I too am so glad for Peach. When my DH's grandma died, no one knew what to do with her little dog, so they had it euthanized and put in the coffin with her. I felt that was wrong, but kept my mouth shut.
    Anyway, our deepest condolences from your on-line peeps.

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  29. Anonymous7:40 PM

    Shara, I'm so sorry to hear that your Grandma is gone. I know that you and your Mom have gone through a lot these last few months, so while it is sad, I'm glad you were able to do for her. I'm glad you were able to find a new home for Peach. That was a worry, too. I 'll be thinking of you and sending a hug your way.

    Lynn

    PS would some more fruit help?

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  30. I know this has been a long road for you and your mom. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sure your grandma is in a better place. Thinking about you - Barbara

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  31. I am sorry for your loss.

    dicity

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  32. PocketChange9:51 PM

    Ah, Shara, saddened to hear of your grandmother's passing. Hope you have happy memories of when she was healthier, and that they will sustain you in the days ahead. Here's a ((((hug)))) for you!

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  33. Oh, honey, I am so sorry to hear that. You know I never comment, but I always read. My heart goes out to you and your family - losing your grandmother and the times that preceded t. I've been there with both. Much love.

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  34. Oh, Shara, I am so, so sorry!! I know you & your mom have been taking care of your Grandmother for some time now and you've commented on how she was sometimes difficult to be around but I know that the pain isn't any less just because she was ornery. I hope your Grandma is resting in peace and that your family can take comfort in all of the good memories you've made over the years. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

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  35. My condolences to you. A death in the family is never easy. The only saving grace is that the loved one is no longer in pain. That has been true for all the relatives I have lost in the last couple of years. Sometimes, you even feel guilty because of the relief you now have, not being the caregiver, etc. At first I would feel bad, but then realize it was a normal thought. So tonight I shall raise a cold glass to your grandma, she sounds like a lady I would have loved to have met. My best wishes Shara to you and your family.

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  36. Prayers for you, your grandma and the rest of your family.

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  37. Just read your post. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. No matter how difficult she may have been, she was your grandmother, and now she's gone, and that's gotta be hard. My thoughts are with you. Glad Peach found a new home. She looks like a sweet, old dog!

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