My Mumsie

 

I lost my Mom on May 9th. She was fine April 28th, but then she wasn’t herself. An ambulance was called. She had a UTI. It went sepsis. Her kidneys shut down and her lungs stopped working. She was moved the hospice House on May 6. I was able to stay with her 24 hours a day. She was asleep the entire time until she suddenly woke up on Wednesday. She saw me and her face lit up. “There’s my girl. My beautiful girl!”  I was able to get her on video telling me that she loved me and to never forget that she loved me. and then, she was out again. It was the saddest and happiest few minutes of my life. 

My Mother and I were absolute best friends. Losing her means losing half of myself. I am broken and sad. But I am also very calm. I believe she’s walking me through the pain. It happened so quick and out of nowhere. But she didn’t suffer. She was taken care of at the hospital and at Hospice. I was able to be with her. She didn’t look like herself at the end and she didn’t speak, except for those few minutes, in almost two weeks. It was just her shell there. When she took her last breath, it was very deep. My stepfather, who rarely hears anything, heard it and said, “That’s it.”  It was almost a relief at that point. 

She was funny and giving to a fault  she loved me more than anyone could love a person.  She thought I was beautiful, the smartest, the most creative and the best person in the world  I am none of those things but she told me every day that I was those things.

I miss her so much!