I have a story to tell today. One I never thought I would be telling. If you would have asked me six months ago if I would be saying this, I would have said, "No, Hell No." But, here goes. We have decided to Homeschool another year. Even though we had him registered to start today. Even though we went to Open House and met his teachers. Even though we bought him all new clothes. And shoes. And school supplies out the ying-yang. Of course, he still needs clothes and shoes and school supplies, so that is not wasted.
Reasons? Well, there are many. Apparently, he still does lingering trepidations about school. I don't know what all happened to him last year on the days he went to school when he was loopy on the Claritin D. I do know he was told that he could not go to the Nurse, he could not go to the Counselor, he just had to do what he had to do to get through the day. And, it was the Nurse and the Counselor that told him that, not me. So, that didn't leave him feeling very reassured about school. Also, he tried to go every single day and never made it in the door. Then, we thought we had him feeling good, so we tried to get him back in school. That's when the administration said no and he wasn't welcomed back. So, he never got the opportunity to go back to school and be welcomed and feel at home. He still thinks bad things are in there waiting for him. And, I don't think they are, but who knows at this point. We really feel like outsiders at this point.
Also, there isn't any one on one attention at this level. We went to Open House on Thursday night and the teachers only spoke of rules and detention and fines and "they'll learn the days not to push me", etc. One teacher sent home a type written page front and back of rules for his class and his class alone. How about "We are going to have fun and learn this and this and go here and see this and let's get excited about it!" For instance, one rule was, if you don't sharpen your pencil before class and it breaks, you are screwed. You do NOT get out of your chair to sharpen it. Now, The Bean would have an an arsenal of sharpened pencils and an arsenal of mechanical always-sharpened pencils, but the very idea of this rule is so stressful to him that that is all he can think about in class. We had problems with his Art Teacher in Elementary School - Pre-Blog. He referred to himself in the third person and yelled at the kids and threatened them for silly things. And, even though The Bean is an ideal student and rule follower, the fact that the teacher would call himself Mr. XXX and then scream at them about not putting the yellow paintbrush in the blue paint would cause him to stress out to levels that I have never witnessed.
I digress. I have stated before that The Bean is a good kid. He's a sensitive kid. He's a one of a kind kid. He's not a cry baby or a wimp or anything. He is just unique. And, I think that is a good thing. If going to a school that can't see that he is an individual or that he has certain needs (not to be yelled at for things he isn't even going to do), then I will take his education into my own hands and do it right. We did Homeschool last year, but I took it personally that they told me that I HAD to do it. So, we did do it, but I was lax in certain areas and didn't push him as hard as maybe I should have. Well, not as hard as maybe I should have to have kept him entirely in line with the kids at school. But, isn't that half the idea of homeschooling? To do it at your pace and in a way your family enjoys it? I don't think most homescholers are of the mindset that they are in their second semester of fourth grade or whatever. I think they just do their studies and progress when they are ready. Maybe they are High School readers and 6th Grade Math. Whatever they need to do - they do. And, so will we.
So, today I have a new attitude towards homeschooling. We will earn and explore and see new things. He's only a kid once, and I need to help him become the adult he needs to be. Maybe he'll go back to school next year. Maybe not. Millions of kids are homeschooled and they flourish. There are a lot of things that I already know that I can teach him and thousands more that I am completely clueless about, but I can learn with him. I wouldn't change the way that kid is for anything. No one else should try to change him either. We will try to get him the confidence he needs to know he is welcome and accepted at school. He needs to understand that he has these emotions and why he has them. I know someone could just give him a pill to make him chill and go, but I just do not feel that is the thing for him, or for us for that matter. He is completely fine 99% of the time and has felt better since we started homeschooling than he ever did at school. But, as our week progressed last week, I could see it in his eyes. Just like last year. Nothing is worth going throught that again.
I'll try not to blog about it, and accept this as our choice and not something we were forced into doing. Of course, I will blog about our adventures because those will continue, I promise. And, there will be junking. Sorry, I can't give up everything! ;o) I tell this story on here because I feel like everyone that comments on here is a friend and understands me. More, perhaps than anyone in this stupid tiny town. And, this blog is where I get things off my chest. So, there it is. Off my chest. Thanks.